Brendan Stern

As a political scientist and debate coach, I have the slightly sadistic hope that my 8-year-old son will enjoy political theater as much as I do. So I let him stay up late to watch the first GOP presidential debate with me live on TV.

It was eye-opening.

Over a week later, the main takeaway seems to be that Vivek Ramaswamy is breaking through as someone who’s simultaneously charming and obnoxious, upbeat and cynical, articulate and clueless. I think my son’s observations add even more insight.

In the mold of Vivek’s so-called “sacred and undeniable truths,” here are five truths about the 2024 presidential election:

#1) Body language is king.

Minutes into the debate, my deaf son turned to me and signed, “I have a crush on Vivek.”

“Why?”

My son then imitated him without words or signs, gesturing like an Italian street hawker at the Borghetto Flaminio Market—full of theatricality, joy, humor, energy, command, and boldness.

According to studies, up to 90% of communication is body language; words are just the tiny remainder.

Vivek gets it.

Meanwhile, Ron DeSantis and Mike Pence looked like they were slipping into rigor mortis on stage.

My son doesn’t have a crush on them.

#2) Identity matters.

About a quarter of the way through the debate, my son pointed at Nikki Haley and asked if she would be the first woman president in U.S. history if she won. I nodded. Then Haley declared we ought to ask women if we want something done.

For all the Republican complaints about ‘identity politics,’ it’s real, inevitable, and here to stay—no matter the party.

A day later, it struck me that unlike in 2016, none of my family, friends, or colleagues had remarked that this year’s only female presidential candidate could finally break that glass ceiling.

Identity politics in 2024 will be more tangled and omnipresent than critics or defenders care to admit.

#3) Hearing people are weird.

Halfway through the debate, my son asked why hearing people move their hands when they talk. “Because hearing people need to keep their hands busy,” I answered. I then told him to imagine how awkward it would be to speak with frozen limbs, explaining how essential body language is.

Minutes later, he turned to me and asked, “Deaf people do the same. We move our mouths when we sign. Is that called mouth language?”

I giggled like a 13-year-old watching Basic Instinct, thinking of all the new signers who clamp their mouths shut—believing, with the best intentions, that’s how deaf people sign.

#4) The GOP is like a Hogwarts house.

When the moderator asked candidates to raise their hands if they would still back Trump if he was convicted but became the nominee, Vivek’s hand shot up like a cannon. Soon, all followed except Chris Christie and Asa Hutchinson. My son turned to me and asked if the GOP was like Slytherin.

Ouch.

#5) The beer test is real.

The beer test is the idea that voters pick the candidate they’d most like to have a beer with.

I haven’t polled voters on who they’d rather have a beer with, but Vivek won the Lego test after my son watched his ‘debate prep’ video where he tries to murder tennis balls shirtless.

In 1966, Ronald Reagan said politics is like show business. Fifty-six years later, it’s even more true. Nobody wants to drink an IPA with a Stoic, play Legos with the Grim Reaper, or vote for a bore.

The sooner our most qualified, responsible candidates figure this out—by gesticulating like Italians, declaring women more capable than men, radiating the goodness of Gryffindor, and posting bombastic short videos—the better off we’ll be.

At least, according to my truth-telling 8-year-old.